Marriages, they are very temporary these days,this was not the case always. My parents were married for some sixty years, and so were my in-laws. My Aunts and uncles have also the same un-blemished record. But my sister was divorced after five years of marriage. And here among my friends and colleagues there is hardly anyone who has not been married more than once, or is still with their first partner.
There was a time when before a liaison, various factors were considered. Age, status, family and race were all important considerations. Even in the West formal introductions were made,among families who were equall on the social scale.
Of course life is very different now than what it was at the time my parents were married. But what is the one biggest factor in the present lifestyle, which makes it hard for a relationship to last?
These days there are different types of marriages, cross- cultural and between different races. Then these days there age is not a bar. There are celebrity couples like Joan Collins 74,who is married to a man that is in his thirties. And they seem perfectly happy. We have a friend who after divorcing his second wife, married a young woman thirty years his junior and in her late twenties. I saw them on Sunday, and they looked happy.
So if it is not race, age or culture that affects a marriage then what is it? Why the divorce rate so high in this country and is rising in countries like India and others.
Some cultures teach women to be the one who should be flexible, in other words, she should put up with everything and not complain or go against the wishes of her husband and his family. In Islam husband is considered an earthly god, in Hinduism women use to die with their husbands. So perhaps it was this upbringing and customs, which gave women no choice but to get on with their married life.
But today’s woman knows her rights, she is educated, independent and knows what she wants from her life, so is this why marriages are so fragile today? Or is it because people are living much longer and they get bored with each other?
I was married when I was twenty-one. And as someone I met was astonished to learn that am still married to the same man! But I fear and wonder about the future of my children.
So do tell me your thoughts, what is it that makes a marriage last? Is there one single most important factor? Or in hindsight what was the biggest factor in the breakup?
And is good to remain married for conventions sake, even if the spark, whatever that may be; has long gone?