Relationship are difficult atany time of the year.

But times likethe Christmas, family celebrations and suchlike. The rate ofsuicides and nervous breakdowns is at its highest in the period leading up to Christmas. There is the dilemma as to where the great day should be celebrated.Family fueds are forgiven and forgotten,but sometime something triggers the memory of the previous hurt. And the whole cycle starts again.

It is said that you can choose your friends but not your relations. I have done very well in the friends department. As I have lived away from my clan,my sole support has been my friends. Ifwe fall out, one of us after a suitable period makes a gesture of reconciliation.

But when it comes to relations, I have less contact with my extended family. But I have always looked after the interests of my parents and my sister. But about two years ago when my father died and I rushed to India, mysister trated meworst than a stranger.Though am the eldest daughter. I was just not consulted or involved in anything to do with the various religious or other ceromonies. I knew that she always was not happy that though I was responsable for the financial care of my parents,but she was physically there, looking after them.And on my annual visits, my parents spent a lot of time with me, and as my sister put it, I only came for a short while,they talked about me for weeks afterwards.Her first marriage failled and she of her own accord married into a very orthodox Muslim family. Really really strict. The sort where they would not step out without a full Burqua. This dismayed my Western educated father. He never came to termwith this marriage untill his death.But he always insisted that my sister and her new family treated me with regard,though am westernised .

So the years of resentment and anger boilled over I suppose,and she doesnt want tohave anything to do with me. I have written to her,emailed her,and sometime I get a two line reply.Very curt  and impersonal.

Now my daughter has just  got engaged , and the wedding is going to be in spring 2009.Am at a diemma as to invite my sister or not. My immidiate family and friends say I should`nt bother after the way I was treated..

And then my would be son in law is a Roman Catholic.A lovely family,and a wonderful man.It will be a church wedding, I dont know how will it go down,not with my sister ,but her new family.

Am old enough to know thatlife`s bitterest regrets are not from what we did,but for what we chose not to do.

So tell me,have you a friend or relation,who has refused to have anything to do with you,but you love them.You would want to be with them,butcant face the hurt of rejection?

Will you invite them anyway? Will you preserve your tattered pride and just keep away,or as life is too short, you will carry on making an effort?

Please tell me.




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