Or a marriage?

I don’t go looking for advice on marital problems or crumbling marriages.

But when the newspaper you read, (a respectable broadsheet called the Telegraph) has a weekly column on this subject, you have to  read it, don’t you?

And then you have these magazines which drop out from the Sunday version of that paper, being a woman, I have to read them! They are meant to be for women.

I read a week or so ago in the agony column where, a woman wanted to know if she should stay in a marriage, as her husband has never told her that he loves her. My ears pricked up!

She said it was making her really insecure and miserable. And the advice she was given that they should seek counselling, or therapy. I can imagine that her husband will never accept this offer. He is, in her words;” kind, generous and a great father”. Just not showing affection, I assume came pretty low on his scale of things.

Today’s magazine has an article on what the writer calls a marriage of convenience. She says they hardly speak, and long ago stopped having sex, so why has she been with her husband for 13 years?
Recent research shows that at the start of a relationship, a hormone called nuterphin is released. The article claims. The hormone which gives the sensation of being, “truly madly and deeply in love”.

Within two years these hormones decrease and are replaced by the “cuddle hormones”, known as Oxytocin. This helps us to settle down, watch the television together or do things which don’t involve passion and sex.

So if you don’t have that closeness or the passion then what keeps you in a marriage?

Of course there are children, the money and the dilemma of finding a place to live and start your life all over again. Most of us of a generation that we believe in working harder, and sometime without getting anywhere.

Why are the divorce rate so high these days, do the younger generation has no time for these efforts?

It is not trivial to have attention, sharing and things which you should do together and enjoy. Some of us have it in abandon and some can only wish for it. Should we and our parents genration should have pursued this attitude?

So do you think these women are right to contemplate leaving, or in another case are they right to stay in a marriage, where they share nothing?

Is it worth having a marriage of convenience?


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