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I took the delivery of a brand new dishwasher yesterday.
After my fifteen year old previous  model
expired on me.


So far so good, it is a gleaming new machine and after running
on cycle on it am very pleased.

Then I thought that I will read the instruction book for the
dos and don’ts!


And that was a mistake, it felt that the book is written for
mindless hooligans, or very  dim and
mentally challenged people. I thought I will share it with you.


 The page opens with;




Use the dishwasher only for the purpose of washing domestic dishes.


         Well I
thought there was a sort of clue in the name? But never mind, and I read on.


Do not lean or sit on the open door, the appliance can tip.


 Err.. I was not buying
as an additional settee, but thanks for telling me.


The water in the appliance is not drinking water.


Do people drink out the soapy water? Well there is no accounting for taste.


Do not add any solvents to the washing chamber, danger of explosion.

Well , you don’t say!

Open the door carefully when the washer is running,

you may be sprayed.


6.  To prevent injuries caused by stumbling open          machine only for loading and





And then there is a whole chapter on safety if you have
children, so all this was for adults! Am I being un reasonable in thinking that
the company doesn’t have much faith in people having common or any sense at

Are these the daftest instructions or have you read better?
And why do you think we are instructed in this way?

Let us hear the most bizarre instructions you have come




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