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The other day I watched the glamorous Hollywood actress Goldie Hawn , talking about the “empty nest syndrome”.
This was quite a surprise, as I used to think that only
mothers like me, who had time on their hands, suffered with it.
I remember when I had my first child and my life changed ,
gone was the freedom to go out whenever I wanted to, to have friends round on a whim; or to just go and visit them.
I also had to give up the little grooming routine I had. No
more putting make up on, doing a manicure, trying various hairstyles! It was a
quick wash or shower and back to the bundle of joy, who demanded every ounce of
my energy and every minute of my waking hours, and sometimes the sleeping ones too!
And then life revolved round play group. School and
exams, and then the university. If you
wanted to go anywhere at all, it required military precision to write
instruction, organise laundry, pick ups and then the constant worry, while you were on your night out that things are going to plan, and the little darlings are not missing you. Though the reality is that children quite enjoy having another carerer. And do not miss you as much, but you dont know that , or do not want to accept it!
In the beginning you
long for the freedom you had before becoming a parent. You often wonder what
you will do if you had the time. Long weekends with girl friends, carefree
days, and long evenings of laughter and
So after all this waiting comes freedom at last! They are
grown up and leave home, and what do I do, and it seems most mothers, including
Hollywood actresses, you mope around. You
avoid going into their bedrooms, for fear of bursting into tears. You worry
constantly if they are eating/ sleeping properly and are not exerting
themselves un duly. You are waiting by the phone. You have no one to cook for,
no mountain of laundry, and no chauffeuring, and wait for it, you miss it!
Your husband is quite happy in
front of the television or the computer, and you are roaming the house like a
Is this common to just mothers or do fathers suffer with it
too? Why do we not enjoy the freedom,
which we have earned after about eighteen years of drudgery.?
And would you have had children,if knew then what you do now?
Is there something wrong with us, or is it that we metamorphose
into a different being ,once we become a parent.