Winter blues

 It is now official!

 Research shows that when people hit their fifties they are in their romantic prime. And wait for it,it is men in their fifties who are most likely to surprise their wives with chocolates and flowers! Really ?

In that case it has completly missed my other half, who has not changed his life long habits a tiny bit.No acknowledgement of wedding anniversary, no mention of Valentines day, but since the children arrived and insisted, I do get Christmas and birthday presents.

He does buy me presents, but on his terms and of his choosing. Every year when he goes to visit his family he comes back with lots of gold(which am not very fond of) and clothes which I seldom wear. Still I suppose it is a gesture and I should appreciate it.

Then this yearly visits to his mother and family, I dont go! I must admit the thought of being in sunshine in dark and dismal January is tempting. But being in the family home with mother in law and his sisters and their family is not. The cultural gap between us has widened as the years have gone by. And now it is akin to a valley!

When I was newly married and later when the children were young I went every year dutifully. Making great effort.
The journey was not easy and then the food and weather never agreed with the little ones. So I spent most of my time making sure that I cooked and fed them the right food, that their routine was maintained and that they got back in one piece. And all everyone else did was criticise the way my children were, that they didnt speak the language and so and so forth.

The around the mid 1990s that I made up my mind that I will not be subjected to thisyearly migration.And so I dont go and he does. So here I am in middle of winter, on my own but not lonely. I read,write,and  sew and though the garden is out of bounds but the conservatory plants keep me busy. My Bird of paradise plant has huge flowers and the Gardenia is flowering its heart out, filling the space with its heady perfume.My involvement with various charities keeps me busy too. But when I read that life gets more emotionally rich with age I wonder.

So how does one go about acquiring that state?
Women it is said are much better at multi tasking,so they should be better at leading double lives too.But just the thought of having to tell and maintain lies is daunting. And more often than not it is men who leave their wives of many years for a better number. This must be due to their getting more romantic!

Anyway here Iam,wondering if I have got more romantic, and if the answer is yes than what am I going to do with it?
May be I will start writing romantic novels!

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