Life and other things

For Cropper

Here is a question.

If some one knows their short comings and admits to them, is he/she is being self effacing or realistic?

 This is in answer to some thing Cropper said to me ths evening.

 My parents were very clever, social and attractive people. My father was highly intelegent,won admission to Cambridge at the age of fifteen and excelled himself as an under graduate.
My mother came from a family of Aristocrats and was a beautiful woman. Sharp features, superb figure and a highly artistic nature.
She wrote poetry and was a well know and published poet in India. I was born soon within a year of their marriage.
Both my parents in general and my mother in particular were not ready for a baby. They were having a great time.
I was and still am have a brown skin, not the creamy white skin my mother had. Besides I was a girl, like every one in India they wanted a boy.

The result of it was that I was handed over to nannies or Ayahs as they were called. My father was an officer in the army and they had a great social life.
My parents were convinced that I have not inherited anything from them, including their intellect. I was tutored at home, and as my father was posted to different places,I didnt have continuation of a school education.

I was a free spirit, I wanted to be with the servants, the poor children across the road, much to the dismay of my parents,and our relationship was very poor.We saw each other only at evening meal and I could never do anything well.
I have had so criticism that I became indifferent to it. I had no desire to educate myself,the master who came to teach me mathis was an awful bore. He punished me at every wrong answer, I hated the whole thing. Until the age of sixteen, my sole education was the books I read. I was an avid reader.

Meanwhile my sister was born, by now my parents were older and more mature. And she was a beautiful baby,and went on to get a Phd in literature and lived up to my parents expectations.I could only watch as she bbecame the apple of their eye, and I was constantly compared unfavourably.
At the age of seventeen I wanted to do nursing, and my world exploded.My father was so angry. Girls from middles class families,in 1960`s India didn’t go into nursing. He threatened to disown me. I was determined to do nursing and went for an interview. And came back to find my things left outside and the servants told not to let me in. I still remember that day, the old servant crying as he kept asking me as to where will I go now.
I did start my training, got distinction in my finals, and worked in the rural areas of India as a health visitor.
So you see, i really am no good in maths, geography or science! But I loved my children, and did the best with them and they have done so well in their lives.
What little knowledge I have is self acquired, I have a degree in nursing, a diploma in writing and various other nursing related qualifications, but am really not good in anything else.
So when I say this, it is the fact. It is not self effacing, not fisihing for compliments and not pretending. That is the truth.
Cropper I would hate it if you thought that I was just pretending and trying to get sympathy.
Am afraid am too open for my own good!

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