My hair dresser asked me the other day that should she feel guilty because she enjoys the company of a nice young man in the gym, she frequents.
My hair dresser is a very beautiful young woman. She has been married less than a year,to the man she has been living with for many years. Her husband is a very quite man she tells me, who never pays her compliment,is never forthcoming with his affection,and never notices if she dresses up! Ah ,I thought ,that sounds familiar. There are many such men around.
So should you feel guilty if you have a partner and enjoy someone else`s company?
Research done in Canada has shown that while men feel guilty following sexual infidelity,women feel guiltier after emotional transgression, or as they called it”emotional cheating”.
The researchers have hypothesised the opposite.They thought that since men are considered to have a greater sex drive,they would take a sexual liaison in their stride,and will not feel bad after such liaisons. But it seems they feel more guilt after casual sex, and women didnt! But women did feel very guilty if they felt emotionally attracted to someone.But not if they have a sexual union!
So my hair dresser was conforming to the norm. I have not known this but I too have felt guilty after I have enjoyed someone`s company,in a party or in a group. It is so refreshing when a man you have never met before, pays you a compliment or gets in a discussion with you,and you find him to be well informed and have definite views on the topic of discussion. I find it thrilling. When I was involved with the BBC, I would meet journalists who were charming, well versed and very attentive. I would come home feeling quite guilty. And now it makes sense!
But why should women feel guilty simply for enjoying someone`s company?
Is it due to men feeling that they are more sexual than they are,and thus giving more weight to sexual involvement in general?
Women on the other hand could imagine levels of involvements which are not there,and thus making them feel guiltier than they should?
How about you, have you, in the past or the present felt similar guilt,and if so do you think it was justified?