What are they about? Or what should they be?
A young friend of mine is just going through breaking up with her boy friend of some years. Who she thought was her “soul mate”.
But since they have moved together , she has found that that he is not what she thought he is. “Lack of intellectual curiosity” is one of them. I will go along with that, as you grow older, lack of intellect is the hardest to bear. It does not come from having qualifications of one kind or another,but by having just curiosity. Finding out about anything and everything, books, music, plants ,people and the universe. It is when people live in a cocoon,that they become unbearable.
I admire her. She is a very successful, clever ad beautiful girl who works and lives in the city and has progressed in her chosen career with leaps and bounds. Good on her I though, something women of my age,and culture did not have.
The women like me make a marriage decision without deciding at all. Because we have lived in a life with structure and boundaries. so it seems only natural to make the continuance of structure a priority. It dawns on you much much later in life,that you are only half alive, that there is a whole dimension of you which has never been explored. That in some cases a conservative upbringing ,for all its security and worth ,never allows you to take off the shackles of your childhood.
As you grow as a person, if the other person stands still, with their false pride and dogmatic views,which they know are wrong,but they are too stubborn or ignorant to see them for what they are; life becomes hell.
But relationships are complicated,they sprout tentacles and produce many other one, and breaking with one,means breaking /hurting the others too. So you carry one.
i really admire my friend and wish her all the luck in the world,am sure she is doing the right thing, because as I know too well,it is more or less impossible with the passage of time.
Or is it?