They say that you never know what is round the corner,and it is true ,none of us do. Call it fate, Karma or whatever you like but things happen,you could be just minding your business and suddenly something hits you. Is there a rational explanation for it?I have not found it.
In the last few weeks something like this has happened to me. My husband who has had some ordinary flu and aches and pains for a few weeks, and suddenly the blood test suggested that he has a malignant growth in the prostate gland. And then the scan should that some of the cells have migrated to the pelvic area and the part of the leg bone too. He has been started on hormone therapy and is responding very well to it,but this was something which has thrown us,the family is shocked. He has had no other symptoms or warning, and was screened last August,but within the last six months or so his cells stopped dividing normally and went on a rampage. No one know how and why we get cancer,but it is said that one in three of us will get ,in one form or other.
I have been through some very dark moments in the last couple of weeks. I met my husband when I was seventeen, and married when I was 21, I have not known life on my own. Thinking all sort of things was and is ,doing my head in as they say.
Hopefully as he is responding to the treatment,the chances are that the growth will be arrested,and he will need periodical check ups,but the word malignancy or cancer, still has the power to send one into an abyss of fear and pain.
Our children are being fantastic, we are all hopeful that he will make a good recovery,I seem to go through this roller coaster of doubt,fear and pain. One day I am bright and optimistic and another I can not rid myself of awful thoughts.
As they say such is life, we never know what is in store,but we are reminded from time to time that we are just puppets who are not in control of our destiny. Being a nurse is not much help, I only have memories of people coming into hospital with pain and suffering,but as my daughter tells me that the treatment of cancer has moved on since I left nursing, that I only saw the people in hospital who were ill, and that there are thousands of cancer sufferers who are more or less cured and are living a normal life.
I like to think so.
I just wanted to tell you, as I have always told you of every major event in my life, from the death of my parent, to the wedding of my daughter, perhaps that is what life is about.
Un-predictable and at times confusing.