So it seems that the former governor of California has separated from his wife after 25 years of marriage. Every day one hears about the rich and famous who are playing away.
It is not just rich and famous either, it is said that these days a lot more couples have extra marital affairs. Some marriages survive them and some do not. Some say that their relationship is stronger after the episode and some say that they can never ever trust the other person again.
So why do people seek solace elsewhere.
I say “solace” because I was reading a survey in a magazine this morning.
40% of men who have had affairs said that it was not sex they were looking for. Perhaps men are as vulnerable as women are, and need as much attention, comfort and affection?
A lot has been said about “intimacy” , that it it is lacking it can break a marriage. Though it is generally thought that it is sex we seek elsewhere, but it seems that is not the case. We (men and women) value intimacy,things like holding hands, sitting close to each other and just being emotionally involved with each other means a lot.
When I think back of my Asian up bringing, I never saw my parents or any of my relatives holding hands or even sitting close to each other. Most of the time men and women are segregated, the only time they might have got closer would have been in the cover of darkness. I often wonder how did those marriages survive?
One thing is that in Asia, you are so threatened by hell fire and the Divine wrath that you never will feel bold enough to lock eyes with anyone! This also made me think if this is a new concept? May be we are told to expect so much from a marriage,emotionally and physically that we feel deprived if we don’t get it?
It is a complex issue,but I agree , those who have these affairs are not always are looking for sex, and I am not sure if I will be able to trust my spouse ever again though if he has an affair.