Customs,Cultures and all that…

I sometime wonder if love as we know it can be all enveloping, consuming and caring, is it for the benefit of the person who is loved or the lover?

I ask because I wonder where love ends and control begins? When men want to be the only ones to do certain things( for example driving long distances, keeping the accounts and keeping control of all the money),is it because they want the woman to enjoy life without bothering about this trivia or because they want to hold the reins rather tightly.

I ask because this is the norm in the Eastern society, where as in the west women do take some control on such things. My life has been on similar lines! My mother had total control of the household, the servants, the food and everything domestic was under her , my father kept hold of the money, he gave her the house keeping, and if she wanted to buy things for the house, in those days the traders came to our house and she ordered stuff. I remember my father paid all the salaries to the servants and my pocket money!

WhenI came to the UK, met my husband and married him, he was always good in maths and managing money,I am hopeless in that subject, so he took over the finances, gave me the housekeeping and I never questioned.

WhenI wanted to take the children to Europe,I decided that it was time I did some work, so I worked a couple of nights at the local hospital. And it was then that I decided to have a separate  bank account.  Though it was a joint account,my husband was shocked when I said I want to open it! But I was  adamant, and have had my salary paid into it and used it to take the family away travelling.

When it came to driving, my husband has a big car, which I do not like driving and he enjoys driving, so wherever we went he drove,so here I am timid and no  experience of driving on motorway! I do wish I had more self confidence.

What I want to know is , is this purely an eastern thing,or this is the norm? And does this mean love and the desire to protect the other or would you say this is control?

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