There was a wedding in the family last week, my nephews to be precise. I was invited in a sort of half hearted way. I was only given the dates a month or so ago and though I kept phoning and trying to get involved I got the impression that his mother,my sister was not bothered with keeping in touch.
I agree that she works,but since the death of our remaining parent in 2008 she has not made any attempt to keep in touch. If I phoned up there will a luke warm response and some very guarded conversation. I on the other hand kept her abreast of all the developments in our family, both good and bad but never had much of a response.
I had planned to go initially,but then then the lack of communication and the memories of my last visit in 2008 when I was treated like a total stranger came flooding back. Then again the family circumstances at home are a bit difficult,I felt a bit reluctant to abandon everything and take off. Though I am fond of my only nephew.
Now that the wedding is over am feeling quite down in the dumps. Indian weddings go on for days and there is a lot of fun to be had and it might have been just the tonic for my winter jaded miserable self!
Now I feel guilty and even more down in the dumps,(which is rare),am usually able to pick myself up and get on with life ,but I keep thinking may be I have done the wrong thing by not going.
But then again had she shown the same indifference I might have come back feeling even more miserable and would have had to cope with everything else here anyway.
What do you think I should have done? And am right in feeling guilty and miserable?