A recent article asked if all women turn into their mothers? Perhaps to some extent we do. Our parenting is very much influenced by how were parented. But the finer aspects of parenting are not just learnt they are instinctive too.
Personally I am nothing like my mother. She was so self absorbed she rarely had time for me< I think I went to the other extreme, my priority was and is my children. Nothing mattered, not even career,my children were and are the most important to me.
It is funny is it not that Asian culture is so particular about respecting and looking after your parents, you are threatened with hell fire if you disobey your parents, especially the mother. Islam says that Heaven lies beneath her feet, Hinduism teaches that your salvation is depended on your behaviour towards your mother.
Funny it puts no such restrictions where parents or mothers themselves are concerned.Recent reports from Pakistan told us that the Pakistani girl who was burnt to death,for marrying someone of her choice ,was restrained and tied down by her mother. There have been various cases where it was mothers who were involved in killing , abducting and forcing their daughters to marry someone ,the girls didn’t want to.
Asian mothers are so concerned about the community, their social circle and their place in it that the welfare of their daughters comes very last. They discriminate , sons are preferred and daughters are considered second class, a lot of them don’t want their daughters to have education either, though that is changing ,but their main ambition is to marry their daughters off,at whatever cost.
It is incredible that in the 21st century, when all is said and done Asian mothers are helping to suppress and even kill their daughters, simply because the girl wants to marry someone she likes ,or is not willing to be married off someone she doesn’t know or want.
However many acts against forced mar triages are passed or task forces are set up ,this will not stop ,unless a generation passes. Hopefully the girls of today ,when they grow up will make sure these dark practices are never repeated. That is our only hope. The change will have to come from within.
For that to happen there has to be better education,and the end of ghettos.