People say I have a face which makes me seem approachable, hmm ,take it anyway you like, but one thing is for sure; I find people I met are very comfortable to confined in me. Sometimes it can be quite embarrassing as someone else will be giving you another version of the story, the other person has told you about, but you cant correct them or let it on that you know the truth. it is hard at times.
Through my professional life as a nurse, it was my job to listen. Am known to be a good one. I concentrate hard when someone tells me something, often visualising in my imagination as they proceed. it means I remember stuff, and it also means sometimes I cant get rid of it from my own mind. Hence I end up worrying fretting over issues which are not really mine.
The other day I was waiting for my train at the station, when a young man asked me if he could sit next to me. I moved a bit making room for him.
It was Saturday teatime, and the young man looked and smelt like he has had a very jolly afternoon in a bar!
he was young and well dressed and apart from a little slurring of his speech there was nothing remarkable about him.
Suddenly he turned to me and said, am getting married next month”. I made the suitable noises, while he pointed out his fiancee to him. A young woman standing some way away and smiling at us.
” I haven’t and I cant organise anything for the wedding. he confessed.Did you do much organising for your wedding?”
I pleaded loss of memory, it was a while ago I said.
He proceeded to tell me that he lived in Essex and grew up there. After marriage he will have to move to the west country, that is where his future wife lived and worked. And though he knew about the west country being beautiful and all that, he found it very dull. He didn’t have the heart to tell his future bride, but was out of his mind with doubts and trepidation.
A time when he should be full of hope and anticipation of his future ,he was riddled with doubt. I made comforting noises that perhaps he has the pre wedding nerves and once he starts his new life , everything will settle down.
He didn’t seem convinced. I couldn’t work out if it was the combination of drink and pre nuptial nerves or was there a cause for concern.
By this time my train was announced and I have to wish him luck and move away, he held my hand and thanked me for listening.
I walked away ,but I haven’t been able to get him to of my mind. I really hope things work out for him.
But marriages are never or can not be based on a guarantee of happiness or a life long partnership. When two individuals , who are different people set up home and vow to spend life together, compromises have to be made, sometimes one person makes than their fair share of compromise, just to keep the peace.
It is more often than not women who end up fitting in, making sacrifices because they have the lions share of family life.
Some cultures demand more from women than others. Asian in laws are not very often helpful or supporting, mothers cant get over the fact that their beloved son is now cares for another woman’s happiness more than that of his mothers.
But hey, who said marriage was easy?
I do hope that young man tries and makes the best of his.